Allison Langdon has become emotional while remembering the extraordinary loss that changed one of the most important friendships in her life.
Speaking on the No Filter podcast with Kate Langbroek, the A Current Affair host opened up about her long friendship with Maryanne Larkin and her late husband, Gavin Larkin — the man who founded R U OK? after losing his own father to suicide.
Gavin’s idea began with a simple question: “Are you OK?” In 2009, he turned that deeply personal experience into a national campaign designed to encourage Australians to look after one another and start conversations that could make a difference.
Allison was among those close to the family from the early days, and she helped bring the campaign to a national audience through the Today show.
The conversation Allison still remembers
Allison recalled Gavin approaching her with the idea of launching R U OK? at Bondi Beach and asking whether she could help get the Today show involved.
At the time, the idea was not immediately embraced by the newsroom.
She remembered trying to persuade the program to broadcast the weather from Bondi Beach for the first R U OK? Day, only to be told the subject was considered too difficult and “too dark”.
But Gavin did not give up.
Allison said she eventually went back and explained that the campaign was not simply about discussing difficult subjects. It was about “having each other’s backs” and creating a positive reason for people to check in with friends and family.
That message would eventually become one of Australia’s most recognisable mental-health awareness campaigns.
Gavin’s own battle came just as his message was growing
Gavin was diagnosed with stage-four lymphoma in 2010, not long after R U OK? was launched. ABC reported that he was given a 50 per cent chance of survival and later received palliative care at home.
He died on September 21, 2011, aged 42, surrounded by his family.
For Allison, the loss was deeply personal. Gavin had been one of her husband Mike Willesee Jr’s closest friends, and the families had remained connected through the years.
But the tragedy did not end there.
Two years later, another devastating loss
In 2013, just two years after Gavin’s death, the Larkin family suffered another unimaginable loss when Gavin and Maryanne’s eldest son, Gus, died from a brain tumour at the age of 15.
Gus’s illness had already been documented during Gavin’s own cancer battle. ABC reported in 2011 that Gus had been diagnosed with a brain tumour when he was 11, while his father was fighting stage-four lymphoma.
Remembering what Maryanne had been left to face, Allison struggled to hold back her emotions.
She became tearful as she spoke about the impact of losing both Gavin and Gus — and particularly about Maryanne having to continue raising her family after such devastating losses.
“That was brutal,” Allison said through tears.
“You never know what’s around the corner”
The grief has remained part of Allison’s connection with the Larkin family, but so has the legacy Gavin left behind.
Almost two decades after the original idea was discussed around a dinner table, Allison and Maryanne remain close. Their friendship has continued through grief, family life and the ongoing work of keeping Gavin’s message alive.
For Allison, being involved with R U OK? has also changed the way she looks at life.
She said the experience had taught her that nobody knows what may be waiting around the corner, making it even more important to appreciate the people around us and to make time for the relationships that matter.
Her message is simple: check in with your friends, your family — and with yourself.
A legacy that continues
Gavin created R U OK? to honour his father, Barry, whose death by suicide had left his family with grief and unanswered questions. Today, the organisation describes his legacy as a national “Conversation Movement” encouraging Australians to support people who may be struggling.
For Allison, however, R U OK? is more than a national campaign.
It is a reminder of a friend she lost, a family that endured extraordinary grief, and a promise that Gavin’s original question should never stop being asked.
Sometimes, she suggested, the simplest question can carry the greatest meaning: Are you OK?