With her final bit of strength, MAFS expert Mel Schilling whispered something to her husband he says will sustain him for the rest of his life.
Married at First Sight expert Mel Schilling has died aged 54.
The TV star’s death comes just two weeks after she revealed her colon cancer had spread to her brain.
Her husband Gareth took to Instagram on Tuesday to share a statement confirming the tragic passing of his “soulmate” and mother of their 10-year-old daughter, Maddie.
“Melanie Jane Brisbane-Schilling passed away peacefully today, surrounded by love.
“In her final moments, when I thought cancer had taken away her ability to speak, she ushered me closer and whispered a message for Maddie and me that will sustain me for the rest of my life,” he wrote.
“It took all of her remaining strength, and that gesture summed up our wee Melsie perfectly. Even then, her only thought was for Maddie and me.
“This is a woman who became a new mum and a TV star at 42 — and nailed both.
“This is a woman who, through two years of chemotherapy, when she could barely lift her head from the pillow, never complained and never stopped showing courage, grace, compassion and empathy, and never missed a day of filming.
“To most of you, she was Mel Schilling — matriarch of MAFS and queen of reality TV. To Maddie and me, she was our wee Melsie: an incredible mum, role model, and soulmate.”
Gareth went on to thank their inner circle for their support, before concluding: ‘Life can be beautiful, and life can be incredibly cruel. But ultimately, life is fleeting, fragile, and tomorrow is promised to no one.
“If you can do anything to honour Mel, please live life to the full, love your people well, and try not to sweat the small stuff.
“I had 15 wonderful years with my soulmate, and it was the privilege of my life to be by her side. For that, I will be forever thankful.
“Goodbye, my love. My one. Until we meet again.”
‘Really confronting’: Schilling’s early career
Born to a policeman father and florist mother, Schilling later admitted she’d always dreamt of a glamorous life, declaring: “I just wanted to be famous.”
Despite her love of dancing and singing, and having told teachers in primary school that she wanted to be a TV model, she eventually gave up her showbiz dreams “due to a lack of talent and too much common sense”.
Instead, with a huge curiosity about people, she threw herself into studying psychology at university, then landed her first job in child protective services.
“It was really really confronting, frontline work … I was in my early 20s, knocking on people’s doors to take their children away, with a couple of burly coppers behind me,” she said in 2020.
“I was not prepared, and I burned out really quickly.”
She then moved into the corporate world, but remained involved in amateur musical theatre and even landed a small, one-episode role in Neighbours.
Her imagination began to soar after clients in her office job began asking her for dating advice.
“And I thought, ‘This is something I’m very interested in.’”
Schilling’s big TV break came after a chance conversation with a producer from former panel show The Circle, which led to her becoming a regular guest as a relationship expert.
Like the rest of the country, Schilling was captivated by the first season of Married At First Sight in 2015, and reached out to a producer for a “clandestine meeting in a wine bar in Sydney”.
Sure enough, she joined the cast in 2016 and became an instant hit. So much so, she was invited to take on the same role as a dating expert on the UK version from 2021 onwards.
Schilling described the job as her perfect fit: “It’s the perfect combination of psychology and performance.”
Her fairytale romance
In 2011, the relationship expert realised she had to jump into the dating pond herself, and signed up for dating site eHarmony at the age of 39.
She met Belfast-born businessman, Gareth Brisbane, who was living in Adelaide at the time.
Due to the distance between them, they were only able to text at the beginning, and by the time they finally met in person, they were already falling in love.
Soon after, Schilling – who said she’d previously not felt any maternal urges at all – decided to stop using birth control and see what happened.
“Bang! I was pregnant. I think it took about ten minutes. And not ready at all,” she admitted.
It was 12 weeks before she “started to feel hopeful and happy about it” and finally went out to the shops to buy her first bit of baby kit.
The day afterwards, she had a miscarriage: “It was the most shocking wave of grief.”
But she now knew she did truly want a child.
They tried for a baby for a year – “we even started calling the bed the workbench” – before beginning IVF.
Their daughter, Maddie, was born in November 2015.
The family moved to Bali in 2017, where the couple unofficially tied the knot in a “commitment ceremony” before making it legal the following year.
“I had a bit of a cry on the day. It’s just the meaning of it all. I was a late bloomer in life,” Schilling later admitted.
In 2021, after the TV star landed her role on MAFS UK, the family packed up and relocared to Brighton, and then London, with Schilling flying back to Australia for filming.
“We’re meant to be together for the rest of our lives. We are a correct pairing. We’re right together,” Schilling said of her relationship, adding that she only regretted that they hadn’t met earlier.
“But we don’t dwell on that. We’ve got another 40 or 50 years.”
Tragically, the reality turned out to be a much shorter period.
Tributes pour in
Schilling’s friends and colleagues from all over the world flooded the comments section of the post about her death, expressing their grief and shock.
Her longtime MAFS co-star, John Aiken, also posted his own lengthy tribute to his “partner in crime”, which was written alongside a throwback picture of one of their first joint TV appearances.
“Where it began and where it ended. It’s with great sadness and heavy heart that today I lost my dear friend and fellow MAFS expert Mel Schilling. I am heartbroken, devastated and finding it hard to breathe,” he wrote.
“She came into my life 10 years ago and together we rode this juggernaut, being there for one another through it all. Nothing could prepare us for what lay ahead, but she was always in the fox hole with me.
“… It’s not fair that my partner in crime is gone. She was one of the good ones. I am unravelling just thinking about it. I wanted to sit on our couch together forever. She knew my rhythms and I knew hers. But it’s simply not to be.”
Aiken concluded: “Dearest Mel – I want to thank you for everything you have given me over the past decade. I am distraught. Sadly and devastatingly I have to accept that you are now gone.
“The MAFS universe weeps, as does all your dearest family and friends. Particularly, all my love and prayers go to Gareth and Maddie – we have all been blessed to have known her. I love you and I miss you gorgeous.”
The devastating news of Schilling’s death came just a couple of weeks after she took to Instagram to share that her “light” was “starting to fade – and quickly” after the discovery that the cancer had spread.
She had become one of Australia’s most recognisable TV stars after landing a role as an expert on MAFS.
In December 2023, she was first diagnosed with colon cancer, but after the tumour was removed, was initially given the all-clear.
After sharing details of that process with the public, from that point forward, she largely kept her health struggles under wraps – which meant many fans and friends were stunned when she revealed earlier this month that she had been quietly dealing with a series of setback.
In February 2024, she was given the news that her cancer had mestasised and was now present in her lungs.
“Over the past two years, while filming MAFS, I underwent 16 rounds of chemotherapy and was later told I was eligible for a groundbreaking clinical trial specific to my gene type, due to start in March 2026. Once again, my optimism soared that I might beat this thing,” she wrote.
But over Christmas, her health took another turn for the worse, with Schilling explaining thta she’d started experiencing “blinding headaches and numbness” down one side of her body.
Just 10 days before her death, Schilling wrote about how she’d been given the grim prognosis that the cancer had spread to her brain, with her oncology team telling her that there was “nothing further” they could do, and that she was out of options.
“My light is starting to fade — and quickly. But I am still here, still fighting, and surrounded by the most incredible love. Simple tasks have become incredibly difficult and I am relying on my beautiful family to look after me. I honestly don’t know how long I have left, but I do know I will fight to my last breath and will be surrounded by the love and support of my people,” Schilling wrote.
The TV personality had stepped back from her role within the MAFS franchise – which saw her appear on both the Australian and British editions of the show – earlier this year.
“After 12 extraordinary seasons, I have made the heartfelt decision to step away from my role as an expert on Married At First Sight Australia,” she said at the time.
“This hasn’t been a choice I’ve made lightly. In recent years, my health challenges and living in the UK spending up to three months a year away from my family is no longer sustainable. It has become clear that I must make a change that puts my family, health and time at the very centre of my life.”
CRE: NEWS.COM.AU