Queen Mary has slipped effortlessly back into the country she once called home – smiling warmly, greeting crowds, and stepping gracefully through a packed royal schedule.
But while the Australian-born monarch appears composed and confident during her historic return Down Under, a royal etiquette expert says there may be a deeper emotional current beneath the polished surface.
The Queen of Denmark arrived in Australia alongside King Frederik X for a six-day state visit running from March 14 to March 19 – the couple’s first official trip to the country since ascending the throne in January 2024.
Yet despite the excitement surrounding the tour – which includes stops at Uluru, Canberra, Melbourne, and Hobart – there is one notable presence weighing quietly in the background.
Mary’s beloved father John Donaldson, who she has made time to visit at the end of her trip, is understood to be in declining health.
The retired mathematics professor, now in his eighties, has previously missed several significant family milestones due to his frailty – including Princess Isabella’s confirmation and Mary’s own coronation in Denmark.
Royal officials previously confirmed Mr Donaldson had been unable to travel long distances because of his health.
Queen Mary has slipped effortlessly back into the country she once called home – smiling warmly, greeting crowds, and stepping gracefully through a packed royal schedule
Princess Mary’s maths teacher father John Donaldson won’t be in the crowd when she ascends to the Danish throne on Monday, January 14
For some observers, that context has raised questions among Australians watching the tour unfold. Is the Queen distracted? Does she seem slightly ‘off’? Or is she simply performing the role she has spent decades preparing for?
According to etiquette expert and royal commentator Jo Hayes, what many Australians are noticing has some truth to it – but there’s more going on behind the scenes.
‘As an etiquette expert and regular royal commentator, I keep very close tabs on Queen Mary’s royal appointments and appearances in Europe. As such, I’ve become very accustomed to her body language and behaviour,’ Ms Hayes told the Daily Mail.
‘There’s no doubt her father’s declining health is on her mind – he’s 84 and in a ‘frail’ condition according to reports. And as she doesn’t get to spend much time with him, she’s no doubt chomping at the bit to see him at the end of this official visit.’
However, she said many Australians only tune into Mary’s public appearances when she returns home, meaning the public is now seeing a version of her that has been carefully shaped by 25 years inside one of Europe’s oldest monarchies.
‘As much as Australia loves her, most Aussies don’t pay much attention to what she’s up to until she’s back here in Australia,’ Ms Hayes explained.
‘And on her rare official visits we often don’t see too much of her or hear her speak.
‘So what we’ve seen in these first couple of days of this official state visit – her first as Queen of Denmark – is arguably the most we’ve ever seen of her here.’
Queen Mary’s coronation was the second major event Mr Donaldson has had to skip in recent years – the last was Princess Isabella’s Confirmation
Ms Hayes said Mary’s behaviour may therefore surprise some Australians who remember the Tasmanian-born marketing executive who famously met Frederik at a Sydney pub during the 2000 Olympics.
‘She’s warm and friendly, absolutely. But she behaves as she should – as royalty,’ Ms Hayes said.
‘She holds herself beautifully. Back straight, chin up, walking gracefully and confidently wherever she goes – whether she’s bushwalking in boots at Uluru swatting flies, or glammed up for the state dinner at Parliament House.
‘She’s honed this deportment over the past 25 years and it sets her apart from the more relaxed Aussie vibe most of us are used to here – even from our politicians and other ‘important people’.’
That same restraint also explains why Mary and Frederik may appear slightly formal with one another during public engagements.
‘Royal couples typically have a rule of restraining overly familiar body language in public,’ Ms Hayes said.
‘They rarely hold hands or show overt affection because it helps separate their public roles from their private life.’
‘So if anyone is questioning Mary’s behaviour towards Frederik, it’s completely consistent with royal protocol.’
Ms Hayes said Mary’s behaviour may therefore surprise some Australians who remember the Tasmanian-born marketing executive who famously met Frederik at a Sydney pub during the 2000 Olympics
‘She holds herself beautifully. Back straight, chin up, walking gracefully and confidently wherever she goes – whether she’s bushwalking in boots at Uluru swatting flies, or glammed up for the state dinner at Parliament House,’ Ms Hayes said
Despite the formal tone of many engagements, Ms Hayes believes Mary is genuinely happy to be back in Australia.
‘She has said multiple times in brief interviews that she’s happy to be home – and why wouldn’t she? She’s always spoken about her enduring love for Australia and its people.’
The trip will also give Mary the opportunity to spend time with family she rarely sees.
And while Ms Hayes believes her father’s health will naturally be on her mind, she says the Queen has long demonstrated a remarkable ability to remain composed under pressure.
‘Mary is a supremely level-headed person,’ she said.
‘She uprooted her entire life to move to a foreign country, marry into European royalty and step into the role of Queen – all while raising four children.
‘I would say her inner strength is keeping her steady and anchored in how she’s approaching her father’s declining health.’
For now, the Queen appears determined to focus on the task at hand: representing Denmark and strengthening ties with the country where her story first began.
Behind the flawless posture and diplomatic smiles, however, there may be a quieter truth – that this homecoming could also be a deeply personal one.